Home Sweet Home
by snoozin81
Summary: ONE SHOT! Jay and Alex’s point of view. Not really sure how to summarize it.


I do not own Degrassi!

Jay walked into the Ravine still angry about the fight with his father. He was tired of hearing what a disappointment he was, what a screw up, what a loser. He'd heard the same 'When are you going to grow up' speech to many times to keep count, like his father had any room to talk. He changed girlfriends as often as his underwear, each one younger and blonder than the last. He wined and dined his high-class clients and squandered all their money on trips to the Caribbean and Europe. Trips Jay had never been included on.

After his mother's death, Jay had been sent to Toronto to live with his Dad. A Dad he'd only met once or twice before, a Dad that hadn't even bothered to attend the funeral of his ex wife, a Dad that hadn't paid a cent to help raise the son he'd left behind. Jay had been angry at the world and his father had just added fuel to the fire. Jay had been pushed aside from the second he'd walked into his father's two-story home in the high-class neighborhoods of Toronto. He'd longed for the one bedroom apartment he'd shared with his mother, for the home cooked meals he'd been forced to sit through in between the three jobs his mother had balanced, he missed the smell of mildew and the crunch of cockroaches under his shoe. He would've given anything to have his low class life back instead of being forced into a high society life he'd never fit into. He'd been looking for something, anything that felt like home. He'd found it in Alex.

Jay grabbed a beer from the cooler that was sitting open on top of a picnic table. He popped the can open taking a drink as he scanned the crowd. After Alex had found out about Amy and dumped him this had become his home, the crowd he was now scanning his family. He knew very few of them by name and none of them could be trusted but they accepted him faults and all, no questions asked.

He started toward his usual spot close enough to the fire to feel the warmth but far enough away that he didn't particularly have to socialize with anyone. He stopped when he spotted something out of place. It was funny to him that something that had belonged just a short time ago, now stuck out like a sore thumb. He shook the thought out of his head and walked the short distance to where the sore thumb stood.

"Look whose slumming it." Jay said walking up and to Alex who was leaning against a tree starring into the barrel fire. "Aren't you afraid your new friends might think you've returned to the dark side."

"Do me a favor and pretend I'm not here." She bit back sarcastically keeping her eyes on the fire and not bothering to look at Jay.

"Why are you here, Alex?" Jay asked trying to hide the concern he was actually feeling. He knew something was wrong. He could sense it.

"Believe it or not Jay, you're not the only one that has friends that hang out here." She said as she turned to glare to her ex boyfriend.

"Right, that's why you haven't spoken to anyone here in what, almost a year." Jay replied sounding angrier then he'd meant to sound.

"What do you care?" Alex shot back, "I dumped you, remember, for cheating on me. What I do or who I spend my time with is none of your business."

"Fine!" Jay replied turning around and walking away from Alex. He found an empty dilapidated lawn chair on the other side of the fire and sat down trying his hardest to keep from looking in Alex's direction and failing miserably. He wanted to know what she was thinking, what she was doing in the Ravine, why she wasn't out with Paige or Marco or one of her other high class friends.

He watched as she drowned her secret sorrow in one beer, then two, then three, then the bottle that appeared out of nowhere. She was no longer leaning on the tree for observation purposes, now she was leaning on it for support. Jay knew she was wasted. He thought about going up to her and trying to get her to go home but when she drank she got feisty and the last thing Jay needed was a black eye from a drunken Alex. So he continued to watch without a word, a movement, or an action.

He watched her talk to some girl she and Amy use to hang out with. Jay couldn't remember her name only that he'd fooled around with her a couple times. He watched as Alex laughed sarcastically and he could almost see the fear in the other girl's eyes. He pushed away his own urge to laugh. Everyone was so afraid of Alex, so intimidated by her bad girl persona but the truth was she wasn't any different then anyone else. She hurt and cried just like everyone else. She had hopes and dreams and fears just like everyone else. She was good at hiding her feeling but it didn't mean she didn't have any. They'd shared a side of themselves with each other that no one else got to see.

Jay watched the other girl walk away as a guy walked up to them. Jay stiffened in his chair. He knew the guy well by reputation, he was the go to guy for anything and ever thing that was far from legal. Jay watched the scene unfolding through the fire. He knew Alex was far to gone to know what was good for her and as he watched the guy slide his arm around Alex's waist Jay knew she was far to gone to defend herself.

Jay stood up slowly, never taking his eyes off his ex girlfriend. He walked closer ready to defend her if he had too, but stopped when Amy appeared out of nowhere.

"Alex? What are you doing here?" Jay heard Amy ask from his new spot only a few feet away.

"Go away, Amy," Alex slurred wrapping her arms around the go to guy's neck.

"Uh, yeah, I don't think so." Amy replied lightly grabbing Alex's arm and pulling her away from the guy.

"What is your problem?" Alex yelled stumbling a little from the sudden movement. Jay could see an evil grin spread across Alex's lips as she continued in her sarcastic tone, "Is this your boyfriend? And here I thought you liked to share."

"Ladies, no need to fight," the guy standing with them said. "There's plenty to go around."

"Not even in your most x-rated dream." Amy said with a roll of her eye.

"Then back off and leave us alone." The guy continued wrapping his arm around Alex's shoulders.

"Why don't you go crawl back under your rock, we're not interested." Amy shot back slightly tightening her grip on Alex's arm.

"Speak for yourself," Alex replied yanking her arm free from Amy and wrapping her free arm around the guy's waist.

The guy leaned over and whispered something into Alex's ear but Jay couldn't hear him. He didn't hesitate; he knew it was time to interfere. "There you are," Jay said walking up to the small group and planting a kiss on Alex.

She was to drunk to know what was going on, to drunk to push Jay away. She kissed him back taking her arm away from the other guy and wrapping it around Jay's neck. Jay pulled her closer fully taking advantage of the situation. He knew if Alex hadn't been drinking he'd never have gotten the chance to kiss her, hell, he'd never been close enough to kiss her. He slowly pulled away not wanting the moment to end but knowing if he didn't stop now he might not be able to control what happened next.

"Are you ready to get out of here?" Jay asked but didn't give Alex a chance to answer as he grabbed her hand and guided her toward his car that was parked a short distance away. He tried not to laugh as he saw Amy give the other guy a smug 'I told you so' smile.

"I don't feel so good," Alex said before they reached the car. She dropped to her knees and proceeded to throw up.

Jay knelt down beside her holding her hair back. She was going to have one hell of a hangover in the morning. When the heaving stopped he asked, "Are you okay?"

Alex shook her head in response. She hated when people saw her at her weakest especially Jay. "I'm fine." She said trying to push him away. The last thing she needed was a reason to stop hating him.

"Let me take you home." Jay said reaching out to help her stand up only to have her smack his hand away.

"I don't want your help." Alex said stubbornly.

"Maybe you don't but you need it and your going to get it." Jay said helping her up despite her protests. "So stop fighting me."

Alex stopped fighting Jay, not because he asked her too but because she was physically drained and didn't have the energy to keep fighting. Jay led her the rest of the way to his car then loaded her into the passenger seat shutting the door behind her. He walked over to the driver side and climbed in himself.

"I can't go home." Alex mumbled as Jay pulled the car out of the Ravine and onto the road.

"I can take you to Paige's." Jay offered trying to hide the anger and jealousy from his voice.

"No," Alex shouted then winced as the sound sent razor sharp pain through her head. She couldn't go to Paige's. It was the last place she wanted to be. Paige was the reason Alex had gone to the Ravine in the first place. Paige was the one that Alex was washing away with the burn of the liquor. She realized that Jay was starring at her waiting for a further explanation. She thought as fast as she could in her alcohol induce state before quickly saying, "She's not home anyway."

Jay drove quietly for a few blocks not knowing exactly where he was going, waiting for her to give him some idea as to where she wanted to go. Alex sat quietly in the passenger seat, starring out the window, replaying the night's events in her head, what she could remember of them anyway. She'd gone to the mall to meet Paige but it turned out she wasn't the only one waiting for Paige to get off work. Spinner was leaning against the wall starring at his feet. Alex started towards Spinner feeling angry and jealous but she stopped in her tracks when Paige came out the door, wrapped her arms around Spinner's neck, and kissed him long and hard on the lips.

Alex had been speechless. She couldn't move, she couldn't think, she couldn't react, by the time Alex snapped back to the present Spinner and Paige were gone and Alex stood alone in the empty Mall parking lot. She'd walked around the streets of Toronto for about an hour before she'd found her self surrounded by the familiarity of the Ravine. She hadn't been there in nearly a year but very little had changed. The faces were the same, lost souls that had nowhere else to go. People from the wrong side of the tracks that had no one waiting up wondering where they were. People whose hopes and dreams had never come true and who had given up a long time ago. People like herself who had tried to escape, tried to become something they would never be, and ended up right back where they started, the Ravine.

Alex was angry at herself, at Paige, at these people who seemingly hadn't done anything wrong, at the world. She'd grabbed the first alcoholic thing she could find wanting to forget, wanting to become numb so she couldn't think, couldn't feel. The site of Jay had made her even angrier. He'd cheated on her just like Paige. He'd lied and deceived her, not to mention the fact that he'd broken her heart. Yes, believe it or not she had a heart. It may have been scattered and scared but it still beat just the same and it still hurt just as much when someone broke it.

She wanted to cry but couldn't allow herself to be that weak. Weakness was not an option for Alex. There wasn't much in her life she could control but she'd gotten pretty good at controlling her emotions. She'd tried brushing Jay off with her biting sarcasm and quick-witted tongue but he'd known something was wrong. He'd been able to read her like an open book from the first time they met and she'd thought she'd been able to read him too, but she'd been wrong. She had been completely in the dark about the cheating, about the Ravine, about the van, and about her so-called best friend, Amy.

Alex shifted uncomfortably in the passenger seat drawing Jay's eyes away from the road. He wanted her to talk to him, to tell him what was going on but he knew she wouldn't. Alex had always had a heard time trusting people and Jay had destroyed the little trust she'd had in him, there was no getting it back now. He sighed not knowing what to say, what to do to make this less awkward. He took a deep breath before asking, "Any idea where you want to go?"

She sat quietly thinking over her options, which were minimal. There had only been two places she'd ever gone to in situations like this when she was upset, or scared, or confused. Amy's house was no longer an option. She'd crossed a line that could never be uncrossed; she'd pulled off the ultimate betrayal when she'd fooled around with Jay behind Alex's back. There would never be forgiveness for what she'd done.

The second option sent shivers down Alex's back. Jay's house had been her home, at least the closest thing Alex had ever known to a home. She'd always felt safe there. Inside Jay's room with his arms wrapped around her she hadn't been afraid of anything. The truth was that's the only place she wanted to go, back in time to those days where she'd felt safe, sure of herself, sure of the two of them, but last she'd heard a time machine had yet to be invented. She sighed not knowing how to answer him. She had no idea where to go and it was a very lonely feeling.

Jay watched Alex out of the corner of his eye. She looked tired and vulnerable and on the verge of tears. He'd seen her at her lowest but had never seen her look like this. He turned his car onto a very familiar road making the decision for her. He pulled into the driveway and stopped the car behind that of his father's. Jay shut off the engine as both he and Alex sat quietly starring up at the house, Jay hating everything about it and Alex loving the sight.

Jay pulled the key out of the ignition and climbed out of the car. He walked over to Alex's door and opened it. He held out his hand to help her out. He was too tired to fight and hoped she was too. Alex gave in letting Jay help her out of the car. Her head was swimming and her vision blurred. She was far too tired to protest and if his help got her into the house quicker she would gladly take it.

Jay led Alex around to the back of the house and through the basement door. He didn't feel a need to wake his father that would only lead to another lecture and he really wasn't in the mood for that. Jay sat Alex on the couch in Jay's very own private living room. He'd turned the basement into his own little apartment so he wouldn't have to deal with his Dad. His father hadn't protested liking the idea of Jay being out of his hair. What was the saying, out of sight out of mind? Steven Hogart had a better chance with the ladies if his son wasn't around to screw it up.

Jay walked down the small hallway and into his bathroom. He filled a paper cup with water and grabbed a bottle of Tylenol out of the medicine cabinet. He returned to the living room and handed the water and the pills to Alex. She gladly accepted knowing it would save her from a killer headache in the morning.

"You take my room, I'll sleep on the couch." Jay said looking down at the girl he barley recognized. She was wearing makeup that had run and smeared down her face. Her hair was stiff from hairspray where she'd had it curled or fixed or whatever girls do to their hair. The light blue shirt she wore was far from the blacks, browns, and grays he was use to seeing her in. Her short jean skirt did nothing to cover the grass stain on her knees from where she'd dropped to the ground at the Ravine. He ached for the old Lexie. The one he'd known before the student council race, before the movie theater, before the paint and feathers prank, before he'd felt the need to find comfort in the arms of strange girls he had no feeling for what so ever.

Alex held her hand out for help knowing there was no way she could stand up by herself. She let Jay pull her up and help steady her as she began to stumble. When she was steady on her feet he let go of her hand but she held fast to his. The last thing she wanted was to be alone.

Jay looked into Alex's eyes. He could read the pleading, the need, and the want that caused her brown eyes to almost glow. He knew no matter what he did he'd end up the bad guy in the morning. It was the story of his life; no matter what his intentions he was always the bad guy. He'd always envied Sean and how he'd always come out smelling like roses. He could have burned down Degrassi and they would have marked him a hero for saving lives. He'd learned a long time ago that life wasn't fair that guys like him never caught a break. He begrudgingly followed Alex down the dimly lit hall to his bedroom trying not to trip over the dirty clothes that scattered the floor.

He needed to do laundry he thought as Alex dropped his hand and stumbled around to the other side of the bed, the side that had been hers less than a year ago, the side that had remained empty since their break up. Jay pulled his tee shirt up over his head and started to unbutton his jeans before realizing that maybe it was best to just leave them on. He climbed in beside Alex starring up at the ceiling as a million memories ran through his head. He felt her scoot back needing some kind of contact to know she wasn't alone. Jay rolled over on his side and smoothed her hair out of her face before wrapping an arm around her.

Jay watched Alex drift off to sleep and for the first time in almost a year he felt at peace. "Home sweet home," his mother's voice drifted back to him and he understood what the saying meant. It felt good to be home even if it was only for one night, even if in the morning it would all be ripped away from him, even if he never felt this safe, this happy, this peaceful again. He kissed her cheek softly before falling into a deep sleep. The kind of sleep that rejuvenated the entire body, the kind of sleep he hadn't had since his mother died, since he was shipped to Toronto. The kind of sleep that only comes when you've returned home from a long time spent away.


End file.
